wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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