I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
