Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize