Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
