apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
