The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
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Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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