Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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