the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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