I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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