just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i believe in u and ur pee
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
