He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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