Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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