I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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