i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
