Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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