Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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