I wish I only lived at night.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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