So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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