Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
only you would photoshop your dick
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
