My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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