Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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