I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
