no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
