3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
