Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
