please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
