anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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