Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
