break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm really into asian looking animals
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
