what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
