If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, beer. Big fan.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
