I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
