already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
