Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i permit you to call me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
