Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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