Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
