i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
