i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
