Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
