i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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