the condom got lost in my hair
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
