If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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