Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
