NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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