GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
