I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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