I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
