I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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