I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
