this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
