I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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