apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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