but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
