I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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