Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
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Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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