im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Randomize
