i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
