Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize