How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
