Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i only hope i can top last weeks sext session

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(847): View more from Illinois

True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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(805): View more from California

found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day

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(928): View more from Arizona

It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...

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(217): View more from Illinois

Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success

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