Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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