operation have a gay friend backfired
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
