why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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