Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
