Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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