All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
