I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
