false alarm. still invincible.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
