i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
