she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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